Pop Up: The Perfect Jeans. You’re Welcome
Here I was single, living alone, no strings. What better time to explore my long-held secret sexual fantasies without having to deal with a messy relationship?
I’ve always had this fantasy of being dominated. I spend so much of my life having to manage and control everything – people, places, things, work, timetables, emotions…
The idea of handing over my body to someone else – giving them complete control of my pleasure – was real appealing: Being tied down, gently teased to the brink, only to have them stop, then repeat it all again. Restraints. Orgasm denial. Making me beg. Making me ask for things I was too ashamed to… It all seemed sexy AF.
But how was I going to find someone who would do that to me? Not Bumble, that’s for sure. A bit of subtle prodding of some more open-minded friends led me to Fetlife.
Thanks to the guy, I had some sexy photos I’d taken while I was on a work trip to keep him titillated. I created my profile and then I posted:
I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was instantly flooded with messages and requests. So much so, that I had to take my post down in a matter of hours. It was like drinking out of a firehose.
I was working from home and my projects were not very mentally engaging. I was a little restless and very horny.
I started getting some random requests from anonymous names: Write “SLUT” on your chest in lipstick then send a photo; straddle and writhe on your bed railing while crying, “Yes my master”. I was a little naive – so I did it. I gotta admit, in the moment, it turned me on. The cold of the metal against my clit, sliding up and back along it.
But afterwards, this sense of shame washed over me. What if that got out caffmos somewhere? Who was this video actually going to? And after they refused to even send me a photo of themselves, I blocked them.
What’s Your Number?
Listen to Overshare, the podcast you really shouldn’t be listening to. Just like the best group chat with your mates, Overshare is a bit smart, a bit dumb and a bit taboo. Post continues below.
The trouble was, I was so new to the game, I really didn’t know exactly what I was looking for. I wanted to explore this new sexual side of me, but what I didn’t understand at the time, was that I really wanted to do it with someone I felt loved and nurtured by. Someone I could trust. What I was actually looking for was an emotional connection and intimacy.
Over the coming weeks, the meetings took a general pattern: There was a bit of texting and sexy messaging. If we had a rapport, we’d meet for a drink or meal, if that went well, the second meeting would always involve sex.
For the first meeting – there was always a clothing request. One told me no bra, one no panties. One wanted complete control of my wardrobe down to my nail polish (which I normally didn’t wear). I was usually happy to – one less decision for me.
The “no panties” was the most thrilling for me. Feeling the air brush up from the ground and caressing my vulva. It felt kind of naughty.
They would pay for dinner/drinks, even though I’d always offer. We’d talk about travel, our lives, what turned us on, what we liked. I was pretty open – too open, really: